No.5995
Thank you. I've felt something bad right now. I was looking at the wikipedia page for pettanko,
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pettanko and it mentioned Tainaka Ritsu, so I try to look up a picture of her, find the K-ON! wiki, and it shows her birthdate as
August 21, 1991. Jesus hell this makes me feel old. K-ON came on during 2009. She'd be 29 by now. She's older than me by 4 years, so I'd be a freshman when she was in her senior year. It's all just so jarring I guess. It's so weird to see someone older than you in high school. I don't know if I could watch the anime anymore.
My highschool days weren't great. My life right now is pretty bad too. It's not horrible, but I'm not in a good place now and I'm breaching the point of no return. Even if I recover, I'm sure the memories of inadaquacy will haunt me for the rest of my life. I probably wouldn't feel so bad if I were in a better position I guess. I hope to get better soon.
>>5994I have tourettes. The vocal tics aren't as bad as the motor ticks. I used to put my hands above my head grasp my hands together, and do a weird moan when I was in elementary school. It was bad and loud. I didn't really get teased for it thankfully. My vocal ticks are now just throat noises and no motor ticks. I'm very glad for that. If anyone makes fun of you, you can always shame them for making fun of someone whose brain is different from them and shame them for someone else's disabilities. Never stop thinking that you're not to blame here. Once you stop thinking that, the ticks (and maybe other people) start to get ahold of you. I refuse to take blame and feel no shame. If it's tourettes, do the same.
No.5997
Demons
No.5998
>>5995>breaching the point of no return.What do you mean by that?
>memories of inadaquacy will haunt me for the rest of my life.They lose on power with time and there will be new ones covering previous.
Focusing on past is the silliest thing to do, you really shouldn't.
Thank you for those words.
Have you been taking meds for it?
If so I would appreciate some info about how it changed your daily life.
>>5996I had similar problem untill I noticed that kindly telling people no with reasoning why gets rid of being drudge and others actually start to respect you.
No.6051
>>5998Generally the point of no return is after 25, but as of now, I'm 25 with no real career. It's more of a point of no return for my psyche. However, I keep on hearing other people graduate college at this time and start their career, so the pressure is lessened there.
>They lose on power with time and there will be new ones covering previous.Focusing on past is the silliest thing to do, you really shouldn't.
I have recurring dreams about it. It's my main depressor honestly. I hope it'll eventually go away, but I'll always remember the first 25 years of my life, 1/3rd of my life, being miserable. I still have 2/3rds of my life at least.
>Have you been taking meds for it?If so I would appreciate some info about how it changed your daily life.
Not at all. The tics really aren't noticeable anymore. I still make noticeable sounds, but only some people bring it up. If they do, I'll just explain to them I have Tourettes. Most people understand. It's generally understood that if you make fun of people who have a condition, you're a douchebag and hated. It's in the movies, at least.
No.6052
>>6051>I'll always remember the first 25 years of my life, 1/3rd of my life, being miserableIf you had a bad time growing up, it's a heavy burden for the rest of your life.
No.6094
>>6052I just realized something luckily. Of the 25 years of my life, till 18, I wasn't too stressed. From 20-25 I started failing classes. Five years isn't long at all. I think I can manage getting out of this mess and do well with my life.
I hated school, but it was nowhere near as bad as seeing people of my age range leave a wageslave job while I stay. Soon, I think I can get out myself. Good luck to me. I'm working hard on working + school.
No.6096
>>6094Could have been autistic burnout.
No.6102
>>6096That made me laugh, ngl. I don't have Autism, but I was overreacting. I was looking at my late 20s as an independent section of my life instead of a small section of my overall life. I've grown, and I hope to outgrow my current job. I might actually be fine since my father got into I.T. at 25 (except with a degree in comp sci). If I manage to get my foot in the door and graduate before 26, I'll be pretty happy.
My mood kinda fluctuates between intense worrying and these realizations.
No.6204
>>6190uh oh, it looks like someone ate too much Halloween candy. I bet your mommy and daddy had a real hard time putting you to bed last night.
No.6205
>>6190I know how that feels, liz. I don't think I'll be going anywhere else soon. At least we can be poor together though.
No.6243
>>6228America has always been a corrupt place, being founded by a bunch of Freemasons and all. But now it's become very transparent how broken things are, which is good in a sense.
No.6269
>>6268Why would you post such a creepy image on a comfy board faggot.
No.6275
>>6268>they tell me I'm already enrolled in a virtual classroom but I can't for the love of god find it Oh hello I had the same shit happen to me. Missed three weekends because of that.
Imagine that IT school which is in top 5 in the city has tons of outdated links on their website.
Thanks to that I was connecting to Skype virtual classes that nobody used.
Fortunately I made a smart decision of talking to some random guy in class and we exchanged contacts.
He told me that they're using MS Teams when I asked lately what's up.
Anyway check your school email or personal one for info.
No.6290
>>6289Not even like conspiring, it's just that their common behaviour is off, or wrong, not right, but they behave like that normally.
Like a dog that tears off a part of his skin, he's not harming you, but what he's doing is wrong and it gives the sensation of a nightmare where wrong is the norm, and illegal is legal, where red is considered blue and denying it brings a world of trouble.
No.6291
>>6290Just think less, you silly.
You're overthinking stuff
No.6295
>>6287Yea its really jarring.
Weird to see how reactionary others you once thought normgroids turn into the very cancer you make fun of and laugh at online.
I honestly take it for granted that Im not mentally handicapped like these people are.
Truly peak clown existence.
No.6326
>>6325cute pic
good job getting off the pill jew
No.6336
>>6329Which one? You're among friends here.
No.6346
>>6326Thanks, so far I'm constantly angry and sad for no reason. It's so annoying
No.6348
I FUCKING HATE RETROARCH
No.6353
Wizchan is a mixed bag. Sometimes it's full of warmies, sometimes not.
No.6354
>>6353I can't even be bothered to look at the site anymore. That sites been dead to me for a long time now.
No.6361
>>6360Couldn't you find a studio apartment or basement suite in your area on craigslist or something? You shouldn't have to sell all your belongings to get a months rent. And the roommate thing sounds like it could be a nightmare, I figured guys that post here would prefer to live alone.
No.6362
>>6360So you have to pawn your stuff. I foresee ramen noodles in your immediate future.
No.6364
>>6361I would prefer to live alone. The thing is that the whole offer was quite cheap when divided by two.
I can not quit since that could do some trouble since the Boss taken his time to get it so cheap and he is also renting office from that guy.
Studio wouldn't be cheaper than this offer and renting a single room could be a nightmare since there are other people.
>>6362Unfortunately ramen noodles are not that cheap here
No.6365
>>6364>renting a single room could be a nightmare since there are other peopleOther people outside of your place. Your studio apartment would have a lock on the door.
>ramen noodles are not that cheapDo you live in Nunavut or something? Ramen is cheap everywhere.
No.6367
>>6363>is it all about money?It might as well be.
No.6368
Nevermind, looks like I just made up the whole "I CANNOT cancel signing the papers".
I'm losing my sanity and the worst part is I'm being told about this from others and I can't see it.
>>6365I'm not sure if I understand but there are no offers like that it's either entire flat or just a room with everything else shared.
>Ramen is cheap everywhere.Never noticed it until now,I've seen only two Brands of ramen noodles and one is imported expensive hot stuff,weird ,weird.
>>6367I guess it's just a combination of meternal (animalistic) instincts and money,nothing more than that.
No.6369
>>6368>I'm not sure if I understandA studio apartment is just an apartment with a room and a bathroom, no bedroom. One might not be available in your area. My city is so damn expensive that they're the only places somewhat affordable for a guy making minimum age. And even then they rent for over $1000 a month.
No.6376
I meant coming back to it. Oh and did lizadmin got rid of delete post option?
No.6377
>>6376Isn't the delete post option visible to you?
No.6379
>>6377Nvm, the fault was on my device. It works now
No.6382
>>6375>corona stuff more cringeEver since covid hit Italy it's been total cringe here. People seen the footage of hospitals in Italy and worked themselves into a hysteria, when later I found out that Italian hospitals always get oversaturated like that because of the high geriatric population.
First it was the idiotic lockdowns where a lot of the businesses I enjoy going to got shut down and everyone got to stay at home and not work except for me. And now that the stimulus payments have dried up it's the fucking maasks and social distancing rules. I could care less about holidays being cancelled and clubs being shuttered tbh.
No.6413
Not even halfway through and I'm already sick of December. I just want this stressful consumerist month to end.
No.6414
I'm after payday and it turned out that it's less than was stated. It's even below the minimum wage.
I don't understand. Everything was done great and praised yet this happens.
Welp if the next one will be similar then new job must be found.
SHIEEET all my hype for this is gone.
>>6413Retail?
No.6415
>>6414If you're asking if I work retail then no. I hate the gift giving aspect of the holiday. I don't know what to get anyone, I don't really like shopping, and I don't even like receiving gifts. People always get me things I don't want or need and it always results in more clutter around my place.
No.6416
>>6415It truly is better to give than to receive.
No.6418
>>6416I'd agree with that. I've never been comfortable with being given things by other people. I'd be happy if people just got me beer and lotto tickets for shitmas, things that I would actually enjoy getting and won't clutter my place up.
No.6421
>>6419Of course you'd feel that way when you don't shop at Waitrose.
No.6422
>>6421Why, does Waitrose not do the mask shit?
No.6426
>>6422It's a joke because it's higher up the price chain. I'm not even a bong.
No.6452
>>6451It's like the worst aspects of the people you hate increase exponentially this day and new years' eve. Fucking hate it, I wish I could just shut myself down in my room and don't have to interact with anybody, but that's an impossibility when you live with your parents
No.6453
>>6452I guess I have it easy compared to you.
No.6456
>>6454I can't stand family get-togethers. The only people in my family I find tolerable are my grandparents and it's because they're about as isolated and broken as me. Thank God this month is almost over.
>Probably all those Lizzies are deadNot me (Homer in bed).
No.6457
>>6454Would you be surprised if I told you that I was three out of those images?
No.6458
>>6457You were only suppose to be in one. How can we ever have a nice lizchan group photo with cheaters like you?
No.6466
>>6465>Damn that clown xDImo The most normal people talk to themselves almost always when focused/angry/annoyed.
So many do this, I don't think anybody will look at you differently, except me lmao
No.6467
>>6466>most normal peopleI think I do it in excess, to the point where I might come across like a schizophrenic. I sometimes have to stop talking while in public and force myself to speak internally.
>except me lmaoer you motherfucker… bastard dur shithead… faggots…
No.6468
I always do things in last moments.
Did the same with whole studying.
Today I understood that it's time to actually do something.
Checks 3 sites of university where all the info should be stored.
>everything>is>E M P T Y>LITERALLY NOTHINGWow great so the whole education system is in the middle ages. If you didn't pay attention on web classes then you know nothing. It's not even recorded or something.
I was so sure that there will be at least some info when to pass exams and stuff that I didn't bother checking. Since it was obvious to me.
IT school so they will for sure make use of the Internet. Well nope. Even my previous shitty schools had online book with all the necessary info.
I have no idea for what I was paying but gotta quit this shit
Hmmm so what do I do now to not work for the lowest wage till I die?
I have no idea, so lost. I don't want to be an adult, my vision is being crushed by retarded reality.
Damn, I'm manbaby after all with no skills nor plans for the future.
>>6467>probably because of all the time spent alone.I don't think it works like that.
I'm no expert but I think you just got used to talking out loud, gotta break the habit.
Easiest solution is ball gag. Harder - therapy idk
No.6471
>>6468>Hmmm so what do I do now to not work for the lowest wage till I die?Normies get ahead in the workplace largely by networking and having confidence. Believe me, I've seen them bullshit their way into positions a thousand times. You'd need to have some awesome skills to make up for your lack of these attributes and even then your expected to have some social skills.
You might have to come to terms with the fact that you're not a high valued human. I did.
No.6472
>>6471>You might have to come to terms with the fact that you're not a high valued human. Oh that explains much to me.
I mixed up being valuable person with valuable human. Thank you for that reality check.
I guess I will just stick to being no one. Forcing myself to fake Chad-like behaviour maybe could make my situation better although I would suffer every second of it.
Anyway how did you bare with that fact? Tried to fight it or just gave up?
No.6473
>>6472>how did you bare with that fact?I developed low self esteem that bears down on me everyday.
>Tried to fight it or just gave up?ha I'm probably the worst person to give life advice. I dropped out of a bunch of things. High school, college, the military. If you think you can handle the pressure of dealing with various responsibilities maybe try to advance a little in life, but if you get overwhelmed easily people need to learn to meet you where you're at.
No.6504
This weekend gonna be great just slept 11 hours so I will have plenty of energy
>wakes up
>urinary tract infection
>PP HURTS SO HARD
No.6506
>>6504It could always be worse. At least your tract infection will probably go away after some antibiotics.
A lot of older guys get constipation all the time and have to lug around bowels full of feces that won't come out. Imagine trying to enjoy a nice meal when you haven't taking a shit for three days.
No.6507
>>6506>constipation Just eat mung bean sprouts.
No.6514
>>6513heh I think you mean an enema
No.6529
>>6528sounds like you may need to see a dermatologist my lizard
No.6547
>>6546Same here but mine is from drug abuse when I was a dumb teenager what's yours from anon?
No.6548
>>6546I have similar problem but it's caused by me going on autopilot.
Rather shitty autopilot.
In that state I'm not focused at all and tend to turn off all the logical thinking resulting in many mistakes.
I may be turning into warmie flesh running purely on instincts lol
My theory says that this happens from too much stimuli.
>>6547What drugs and how often?
I've been using dxm once a month at max as teen and I think it had no negative impact on me except my social phobia getting worse for like a week or so
No.6549
>>6547>drug abuse when I was a dumb teenagerExactly the same with me probably. I developed quite the drug habit when I was a teenager. I'm afraid that by the time I'm in my 40s I'm gonna be a drooling burnout.
No.6550
>>6548It was DXM abuse for me but I did it way more often and didn't really care if it was triple C's or not which also fucked with my memory. Glad it didn't fuck with you as bad as me anon.
>>6549Same here that is also my fear.
No.6551
>>6550>dxmIt's the worst mainstream drug to take frequently especially at young age.
Were you aware of that? Or just didn't bother to study the substance.
I'm sure that if I didn't look things up it would end in taking it more often.
My pseudo suicide attempt included 1275mg of it.
Fortunately for me, it had no negative effects.
No.6555
>>6551>My pseudo suicide attempt included 1275mg of it.Wow, and was that in purple drank or gel caps? Correct me if I'm wrong but that must of been like 5 bottles of syrup. I hope your internal organs are ok.
No.6558
>>65552 x 300mg gelcaps + 300 syrup + and some round tablets
Like year after this I had every organ checked and they scored better than average. So it didn't affect me in any way.
No.6559
>>6558That must of been a pretty big handful of gelcaps, you must of swallowed like 30 of them. You would probably need to take way more to overdose. It sounds like you took enough for a long and heavy trip, I hope you enjoyed it.
No.6560
Some old women gave me shit today for not wearing a mask. I wanted to snap at her but I knew everyone around would all jump to her defence. Why can't people just mind their own fucking business?
No.6562
>>6561we're all having to deal with this mask shit right now. this is the vent thread you know
No.6565
>>6564>still suck at themAre you actually playing to get better or just a matter of habit/addiction?
There is a huge difference between those two even if you don't notice it yourself, speaking from experience.
It's all about thinking through every move and learning from mistakes instead of running on autopilot.
>it feels like I'm wasting my life away It is a waste if you see it as one.
I noticed that my life will be a waste whatever I do since some personal problems just can not be solved.
So I do not feel bad about wasting time because it was "kinda predefined" from the start.
I'm free to do anything I want
No.6566
>>6565>playing to get better or just a matter of habit/addictionMore of the latter than the former truthfully. I'm trying to use save states less so I can get better at games but I still play badly. I have poor concentration so my mind is always wandering off the game, leading to frequent deaths.
>personal problems just can not be solvedI guess that's true for me too.
No.6571
>>6564You *are* wasting your life away with video games and that is a fact. There is nothing transferable to other parts of your life that you can obtain from video games. People attacked Joe Rogan when he mentioned this because he made a stupid comparison with judo where with judo you can eventually open a dojo or whatever. It's stupid, as sports are just as equally as non-transferable as video games. Unless you devote your entire life to a video game or sport you will not get anywhere with it but even if you do then it comes maintaining your high ranking which you will not be able to do indefinitely.
There are two ways you can succeed in life: become one of the best in something that already exists, or invent something new and become successful simply because you were the first person to invent it. As it turns out former is much harder than the latter and with diminished returns. There is a reason why businesses usually look for NEW business opportunities rather than look at who they can compete with. Of course, you can be mediocre at something that already exists (which is where most of us are), or invent something that nobody gives a shit.
There are also many ways to fail at life as well which is get addicted to drugs, get arrested, fall extremely ill etc. video games are usually not going to destroy your life the way many other things would but it would not bring anything to your life either, that is unless you declare your life *is* about playing video games. Which is dangerous because it's not sustainable. You will eventually starve or fall I'll and video games are not going to help you there. I guess at least nowadays there are ways to make your life worth with video games such as streaming (not getting into the fact watchers are themselves wasting their life) if you truly want to make your life revolve around nothing but video games. It's just that video games are in general a poor thing to devote your life to, not that you should never play vidya, sports or read books etc. just because they are dead ends, because devoting your life to being productive 24/7 is going to devoid your life of any enjoyment and in and of itself is a wasted life.
I talk about this as someone who devoted his twenties to giggling at stupid shit on the internet every day for 16-17h and someone who thought a lot about wasting his life. I have a degree (a Ph.D) at giggling at stupid shit. I don't know how to transfer my skill of giggling on stupid shit. Starting a meme channel sounds like a stupid idea to me even though it's probably the only thing that can make these years spent worth. So for all intents and purposes, my life is wasted for a little bit of gratification occurring intermittently and I imagine video games are the same way.
No.6572
>>6571>There are two ways you can succeed in lifeThat all sounds very hard. I don't think I can monetize anything I'm good at. I'm just gonna lay down and rot.
No.6574
Huh I've got banned on my pc for spam but never did anything that broke the rules what.
Lizmods?
No.6576
>>6574Maybe your IP accidentally matched somebody else's who was spamming?
No.6600
>>6599How old are you now, liz?
How much more to go?
No.6601
>>6600early 30s. if I can pay some things off and then work for a few more years I might just be able to pull it off
No.6611
obligations and wage slavery have gotten me so worn and stressed out these past couple of days, it feels like a steam roller drove over top of me
No.6612
I apparently have seven months to gtfo of my parent's home. They might be moving or something. I have a sister who I can live with for as little as 300 a month. It's a steal and might secure my life for a little longer. Otherwise, I'm going to have to die or go homeless. I would rather choose the former.
No.6613
>>6612>7 monthsThat's a lot of time to prepare for this. You got this liz
No.6614
>>6613if he's anything like me he'll procrastinate for the next six months, playing video games and trying not to think about the inevitable
No.6632
>>6631>head is going to explodeHahaha no,
rather make my head explode No.6633
>>6614God this hits so true. Luckily my sister is a liar and it's actually seven years. I hope I don't screw up.
No.6635
>>6633>don't screw upyes exactly, try be as low profile as the furniture so when they finally move they'll take you with them